Dick Van Dyke rescued by porpoises

The porpoises were not available for comment.

Updates

I've got a few things going on, mostly exciting!

First, I'm framing a number of paintings for the show at the Pure Wine Cafe in Ellicott City. This entails many hours in the basement every day, playing with power tools and painting things and otherwise fooling around and getting covered in schmutz. Pictures to come...

There have been many adventures with Wowbagger, including swimming holes, night hikes followed by swimming holes, and a beautiful 18th century graveyard we stumbled upon after a relaxing tubing session down a river and an epic barefoot trek through knee-deep mud (whilst trying to get back to the parking lot).

I have a job! I will be tutoring nervous high school kidlings in the dark arts of the SAT. Had to retake the bloody test in its entirety to get the job - needless to say, I am not as smart as I was in high school - but it seems to have been worth it. I start in September. I never thought my first job out of college would require business casual and respectable conduct, but so it goes.

Finally, I've found another venue that might be interested in my art. I've been slacking recently, but I'm gonna have to start churning out new ones again. This is exciting!

A rough draft of my latest:

She's going to be a maenad. With prehensile hair.

Life is good!

Submitted my abstract for the LSA conference in January... months of coding and banging of my head against walls and other stationary objects come to fruition! There will be more coding, of course. Our n (low, approaching silly) is still a problem, so there's lots more data crunching to do before January, but I don't have to worry about that for a while.

Meanwhile, I'm working on framing a number of my paintings for this art show coming up. This entails hanging out in the basement for hours on end whilst high on spray paint fumes and playing with power tools.

I saw Iron Maiden in concert! Dream Theater opened during a sunshower, which was lovely. Then, just as Maiden came onstage, the sky cleared and a rainbow appeared opposite a pretty sunset. Rainbows are so metal.

Fig. 1) Eddie!

Fig. 2)   |m|

Life is pretty sweet.

Planet Word

Stephen Fry is going to host a BBC series on language! It's called Planet Word, and I am geekgiddy about it. He's a beautifully erudite writer and speaker, and one of my very favorite people-I-don't-actually-know-personally. I can't wait to see what the show will be like.

Here's a teaser, from a blog essay he wrote a while back:

But above all let there be pleasure. Let there be textural delight, let there be silken words and flinty words and sodden speeches and soaking speeches and crackling utterance and utterance that quivers and wobbles like rennet. Let there be rapid firecracker phrases and language that oozes like a lake of lava. Words are your birthright. Unlike music, painting, dance and raffia work, you don’t have to be taught any part of language or buy any equipment to use it, all the power of it was in you from the moment the head of daddy’s little wiggler fused with the wall of mummy’s little bubble. So if you’ve got it, use it. Don’t be afraid of it, don’t believe it belongs to anyone else, don’t let anyone bully you into believing that there are rules and secrets of grammar and verbal deployment that you are not privy to. Don’t be humiliated by dinosaurs into thinking yourself inferior because you can’t spell broccoli or moccasins. Just let the words fly from your lips and your pen. Give them rhythm and depth and height and silliness. Give them filth and form and noble stupidity. Words are free and all words, light and frothy, firm and sculpted as they may be, bear the history of their passage from lip to lip over thousands of years. How they feel to us now tells us whole stories of our ancestors.

Do read the whole thing. It made me all shivery.

Finally, this dates back to his Bit of Fry and Laurie days:

Art show!

One of my paintings got accepted to an art show at Pure Wine Cafe! It's a swanky little wine bar in Ellicott City, outside Baltimore.

The piece is a 3-panel painting of bubbles rising up the wall. 

I'm wildly excited about this - I've never had my work exhibited anywhere before! It will hang in the wine bar for three months, starting in August. Not sure about pricing yet, but I think it will go - if it goes - for much more than I'd been thinking of asking for it. 

The theme of the show is "Breath". I just started another breath-themed painting... with luck, this one could make it into the show as well.

This is a WIP - I'll post the finished version later.

This is exciting!

Adventures + Tim Minchin

Fellow internet and IRL adventurer Wowbagger is now the official Baltimore Outdoor Adventure Examiner! Check out his column for reviews, ratings, and pictures of some of the hoopy outdoor adventures to be had in the DC/Baltimore area.

He is also responsible for my new obsession with Tim Minchin, singer/songwriter/comedian extraordinaire. Embedded for your viewing pleasure is one of his videos. This one's fun, and will tickle the skeptically inclined. Safe for work.





If you want more (you know you do), this one is hilarious and actually rather virtuosic. Decidedly NOT safe for work. Enjoy!

Friendship

If the last post got you down, you must watch this. Made my day.

Watch more National Geographic Channel videos on AOL Video

The birds and the B's

Jarbas Agnelli saw a picture of some birds sitting on some telephone wires. Another person might have just seen birds. He saw notes.

Reading a newspaper, I saw a picture of birds on the electric wires. I cut out the photo and decided to make a song, using the exact location of the birds as notes (no Photoshop edit). I knew it wasn't the most original idea in the universe. I was just curious to hear what melody the birds were creating.

Birds on the Wires from Jarbas Agnelli on Vimeo.

Another one bites the dust

Three papers (~25 pages last week) and one final down, one thesis to go, one week to finish it. It's going alright - 38 pages so far, and I'm shooting for 42 or so.

I'd be delighted if it ended up being exactly 42 pages long, because there's a distinct Douglas Adams theme running through it... I'm writing about dolphin intelligence and communication, so of course I had to cite him:

“Intelligence” is an ill-defined concept to begin with. Even among humans there is no universally agreed-upon definition, nor any meaningful measure of individual intelligence. As Darwin wrote in his discussion of intelligence, “no classification of the mental powers has been universally accepted.”And, as Douglas Adams wrote, “Man has always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much...the wheel, New York, wars and so on...while all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man...for precisely the same reason.”

(Full disclosure: I have this on a t-shirt.)

Boobquake!

In a follow-up to last week's post on sluts and earthquakes, today is Boobquake: a day for women around the world to show off their cleavage in an attempt to debunk a fundamentalist Iranian cleric who blames natural seismic events on women dressing immodestly.

The Bad Astronomer has more:

"...last week an Islamic cleric in Iran said that all the earthquakes occurring in that country are caused by women dressing "immodestly". Yes, this same screwed-up thinking that brought us the Taliban and the idea that burning, throwing acid upon, and beheading women is all their own fault for being, y’know, women, gives us this:

"Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes… What can we do to avoid being buried under the rubble?" Sedighi [the cleric] asked during a prayer sermon Friday. "There is no other solution but to take refuge in religion and to adapt our lives to Islam’s moral codes."

I got news for you, Sedighi: if I were God, I’d be throwing more earthquakes your way for the way you treat women. In fact, I’d send a few thousand mini ones that open the Earth and just swallow up the twinkie clerics who say such profoundly horrid things.

Serious note: I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating: not all cultures are created equal. Any culture that sweepingly and maniacally oppresses half their population is what I would call evil. Moral relativism be damned: that kind of crap is wrong, plain and simple.

So I stand with my XX-oriented friends against the neolithic thinking of gender-oppressing religions. As Ben Franklin would say were he here today:


We must, indeed, all hang together, or most assuredly we shall all hang lifted and separated.

Now go out and flash your favorite intolerant bastard! I leave you with my favorite relevant lj icon.

Simon Singh vindicated

Science writer Simon Singh wrote an article two years ago in which he called out chiropractors on their fantastical claims and dangerous practices. Soon afterward, the British Chiropractic Association, in a fit of idiocy, brought a libel suit against him. Singh has lost two years of his career to the suit, but yesterday he won.

[EDIT: Oops, my bad. He won his appeal to classify his comments as "free comment" instead of statements of truth, which makes this easier, but he's not in the clear yet. There are still many legal hurdles he has to clear before this business is over.]

Writing that this coalition of quacks "happily promotes bogus treatments" (in one of Singh's books) to describe a "treatment" that has proven both ineffective and potentially lethal strikes me as perfectly reasonable. The BCA thought it was criminal. As soon as the internet heard about the suit, it exploded with indignation and scorn. From Wiki:

"A "furious backlash"^[2] to the ongoing lawsuit has resulted in the filing of formal complaints of false advertising against more than 500 individual chiropractors within one 24 hour period, one national chiropractic organization ordering its members to take down their websites,^[3] and Nature Medicine noting that the case has gathered wide support for Singh, as well as prompting calls for the reform of English libel laws.^[4]"

Sometimes, if you ignore 4chan, the internet gives me hope for humanity. 

The bullshit of chiropractors runs deep. From Singh's original article:

"This is Chiropractic Awareness Week. So let’s be aware. How about some awareness that may prevent harm and help you make truly informed choices? First, you might be surprised to know that the founder of chiropractic therapy, Daniel David Palmer, wrote that, “99% of all diseases are caused by displaced vertebrae”. In the 1860s, Palmer began to develop his theory that the spine was involved in almost every illness because the spinal cord connects the brain to the rest of the body. Therefore any misalignment could cause a problem in distant parts of the body."

It's not just that it's wacky. People have died.

"...manipulation of the neck can damage the vertebral arteries, which supply blood to the brain. So-called vertebral dissection can ultimately cut off the blood supply, which in turn can lead to a stroke and even death. Because there is usually a delay between the vertebral dissection and the blockage of blood to the brain, the link between chiropractic and strokes went unnoticed for many years. Recently, however, it has been possible to identify cases where spinal manipulation has certainly been the cause of vertebral dissection.

[Some reports here.]

Laurie Mathiason was a 20-year-old Canadian waitress who visited a chiropractor 21 times between 1997 and 1998 to relieve her low-back pain. On her penultimate visit she complained of stiffness in her neck. That evening she began dropping plates at the restaurant, so she returned to the chiropractor. As the chiropractor manipulated her neck, Mathiason began to cry, her eyes started to roll, she foamed at the mouth and her body began to convulse. She was rushed to hospital, slipped into a coma and died three days later. At the inquest, the coroner declared: “Laurie died of a ruptured vertebral artery, which occurred in association with a chiropractic manipulation of the neck."

Happily, the Court of Appeal ruled in Singh's favor, trashing the BCA's suit in scathing terms. From yesterday's ruling :

"The opinion may be mistaken, but to allow the party which has been denounced on the basis of it to compel its author to prove in court what he has asserted by way of argument is to invite the court to become an Orwellian ministry of truth. Milton, recalling in the Areopagitica his visit to Italy in 1638-9, wrote:

"I have sat among their learned men, for that honour I had, and been counted happy to be born in such a place of philosophic freedom, as they supposed England was, while themselves did nothing but bemoan the servile condition into which learning among them was brought; …. that nothing had been there written now these many years but flattery and fustian. There it was that I found and visited the famous Galileo, grown old a prisoner of the Inquisition, for thinking in astronomy otherwise than the Franciscan and Dominican licensers thought."

That is a pass to which we ought not to come again."

Love the Milton. Love that we're winning again.

Om lingalinga

This week's dispatch from the Department of Woo is old news, but just as funny as it was two years ago. Sanal Edamaruku, president of Rationalist International, challenges a guru who claims to be able to kill people with his mind magic to kill him on live TV.  The guru begins mumbling and gesticulating. Several hours later, Edamaruku still very much alive and laughing, the show goes to news.

Edamaruku speaks truth to hooey:

It was in March 2008. The tantra master and I were studio guests on a popular TV show to debate on the subject of "Tantric power vs science". He boasted that he was able to kill anyone by mantra and tantra within three minutes. I grabbed my chance to put him in check and offered myself for a test. Caught on air, he couldn't escape without losing face – and his high-profile clientele. So our unprecedented experiment began. The master started chanting his trade mark "killer" mantra that has become quite a hit on the internet since: "Om lingalingalingalinga, kilikilikili…"

After several rounds of chanting failed to knock me out, he tried the whole arsenal of his tantric gimmickry on me, obviously without any result either. I was just laughing. In his embarrassment, he proposed I was protected by a supreme god whom I served – never mind that I am an atheist! Finally, he resorted to foul play, pressing his thumbs against my temples, hard enough to kill me the conventional way, but was cautioned by the umpiring anchor. With no way to escape, he upped the stakes and agreed to perform the "ultimate destruction ceremony" that would kill me dead sure. With ratings soaring, the programme overran, rolling on and on in "breaking news" mode. The channel announced another round of our epic battle for the night show.

Same game, this time in proper style: open night sky, the auspicious hour before midnight, me sitting on the tantric altar, blazing flames, white smoke, voodoo doll, peacock feather, mustard seed and all that. The master, besmirched with ashes from the cemetery ground and after the prescribed ritual consumption of sex, meat and alcohol at his tantric best, was assisted by a chorus of vigorous mantra chanters: "Om lingalingalingalinga, kilikilikili…"


Well, the pig still didn't fly.

Sanity - 1
Magic - 0

That's how it's done. That's how you fight the forces of backwardness and the charlatans who prey on the gullible. Let them embarrass themselves in public by telling the world what they really think. You barely need to ridicule them - this guy did a beautiful job of ruining himself.

If only the Teabaggers were so easy. Luckily, though, they're getting more absurd by the day. It shouldn't be too long before more people are laughing at them. The name is perfect enough: now all they need is uniforms and a secret handshake. 

The moral: just keep on laughing. Even if it doesn't help, it might keep you from crying.

Spring break

A week's hiatus begins tomorrow! Down to Florida for sweet beach time and finally getting my scuba certification. Sixteen hours there - five people in a little sedan - then several days of sunny 75 degree weather, laying in the sun with frosty beverages, diving, and bumming around with good people. I have been looking forward to this for a long time.

Oh so sweet

Sweet vindication:

• The Cove won Best Documentary at the Oscars!
• Homophobic state senator comes out as gay, surprising only the very naive. 
  
  
  

  Last year, Mr Ashburn opposed a bill to establish a day of recognition to honour murdered gay rights activist Harvey Milk. He has also voted in the statehouse against efforts to expand anti-discrimination laws and recognise out-of-state gay marriages. Mr Ashburn, who represents California's 18th district, said he does not plan to run for any public office after his term ends later this year.

  No, I don't imagine he does. See also:

  
  
  
  • Ted Haggard 
  • This wonderful study from 1996 in Journal of Abnormal Psychology:

The authors investigated the role of homosexual arousal in exclusively heterosexual men who admitted negative affect toward homosexual individuals. Participants consisted of a group of homophobic men (n = 35) and a group of nonhomophobic men (n = 29); they were assigned to groups on the basis of their scores on the Index of Homophobia (W. W. Hudson & W. A. Ricketts, 1980). The men were exposed to sexually explicit erotic stimuli consisting of heterosexual, male homosexual, and lesbian videotapes, and changes in penile circumference were monitored. They also completed an Aggression Questionnaire (A. H. Buss & M. Perry, 1992). Both groups exhibited increases in penile circumference to the heterosexual and female homosexual videos. Only the homophobic men showed an increase in penile erection to male homosexual stimuli. The groups did not differ in aggression. Homophobia is apparently associated with homosexual arousal that the homophobic individual is either unaware of or denies.

Is homophobia associated with homosexual arousal?

By Adams, Henry E.; Wright, Lester W.; Lohr, Bethany A.

Journal of Abnormal Psychology. Vol 105(3), Aug 1996, 440-445.

Healthcare!

I've been doing very little these past few days except sleep and paint. Finished a few paintings, actually: some are presents, and will remain mysterious until the recipients-to-be finally come up and visit me, but there will be picspam of the others soon.

Internet goodies have been few and far between, but this one stood out. Stewart and Oliver take on the Great Sinister Healthcare Trap of 2010. John Boehner is hilariously apprehensive (Stewart; "It's a public dialog about important legislation, not Little Bighorn!"), and there's someone you may recognize in the sequence beginning around 0:25.

Republicans are also holding a conference in Hawaii, the apparent purpose of which is to convey to Hawaiians that their outstanding, exemplary health care system (of which Rush Limbaugh recently partook) is doomed to failure. After 40 years of... well, not failing. The conference seems to consist entirely of people who are not aware of this. John Oliver is there with the story.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The Apparent Trap
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Vancouverage 2010

More animals + Saturn

An octopus hatching and being sly with a jar!

Slow loris! Being tickled!



The slow loris is endangered, but these people live in Russia, where it's not illegal to keep one. Not sure how I feel about that, but it seems very very happy to be tickled.

And Saturn. Hubble turned its eye on Saturn the other day and captured a movie of aurorae going on both poles of the planet. Story here.

Snow madness + sexy links

It's snowing sideways outside: big tasty flakes. Little kidlings are frolicking around on the steps, all bundled up, and all classes have been canceled. The snow is still accumulating, but I think it's almost time to whip out the big boots and do a little frolicking myself. This is exciting!

In honor of the snow day, I am sledding the intertubes instead of working. Some tidbits:

• Neil Gaiman is not - I repeat - definitely not writing an upcoming episode of Doctor Who. This nonexistent episode, originally titled "The House of Nothing", will fail to air in approximately 14 months. 
• In botnet news, a new Russian Trojan has started trying to kill its password-stealing rivals. This has happened before, but it's still slightly alarming. The internet is beginning to look more and more like a petri dish, squirming with dumb-but-elegant, cannibalistic, increasingly autonomous entities, programmed to reproduce at every opportunity. If you've ever played Spore, you should be getting nervous. Still, this could be fun -  Russell Munroe tells me they they make great pets (click image to embiggen):

Octopus!

This is incredible. Bioluminescent deep sea creatures and chameleonescent cephalopodian madness. Skip to 4:21 (and full screen it) to have your mind blown.

Blueshift

So, it looks like I've got a job next year. And a PhD program lined up after that. That's six years. 2016. That's the future... they'll have flying cars by then. I'll be 28.

This is ridiculous and scary and perhaps the best, most meaningful opportunity I've ever had. I've got so much work to do on myself before I can even contemplate becoming the sort of person who is knowledgeable/educated/going places/self-sufficient/in charge/responsible for things and yet it seems that I already am?

The future is here. It's rushing up at me in an alarming, delicious way. Everything is suddenly blue-shifted. And blue is my favorite color.