Om lingalinga

This week's dispatch from the Department of Woo is old news, but just as funny as it was two years ago. Sanal Edamaruku, president of Rationalist International, challenges a guru who claims to be able to kill people with his mind magic to kill him on live TV.  The guru begins mumbling and gesticulating. Several hours later, Edamaruku still very much alive and laughing, the show goes to news.

Edamaruku speaks truth to hooey:

It was in March 2008. The tantra master and I were studio guests on a popular TV show to debate on the subject of "Tantric power vs science". He boasted that he was able to kill anyone by mantra and tantra within three minutes. I grabbed my chance to put him in check and offered myself for a test. Caught on air, he couldn't escape without losing face – and his high-profile clientele. So our unprecedented experiment began. The master started chanting his trade mark "killer" mantra that has become quite a hit on the internet since: "Om lingalingalingalinga, kilikilikili…"

After several rounds of chanting failed to knock me out, he tried the whole arsenal of his tantric gimmickry on me, obviously without any result either. I was just laughing. In his embarrassment, he proposed I was protected by a supreme god whom I served – never mind that I am an atheist! Finally, he resorted to foul play, pressing his thumbs against my temples, hard enough to kill me the conventional way, but was cautioned by the umpiring anchor. With no way to escape, he upped the stakes and agreed to perform the "ultimate destruction ceremony" that would kill me dead sure. With ratings soaring, the programme overran, rolling on and on in "breaking news" mode. The channel announced another round of our epic battle for the night show.

Same game, this time in proper style: open night sky, the auspicious hour before midnight, me sitting on the tantric altar, blazing flames, white smoke, voodoo doll, peacock feather, mustard seed and all that. The master, besmirched with ashes from the cemetery ground and after the prescribed ritual consumption of sex, meat and alcohol at his tantric best, was assisted by a chorus of vigorous mantra chanters: "Om lingalingalingalinga, kilikilikili…"


Well, the pig still didn't fly.

Sanity - 1
Magic - 0

That's how it's done. That's how you fight the forces of backwardness and the charlatans who prey on the gullible. Let them embarrass themselves in public by telling the world what they really think. You barely need to ridicule them - this guy did a beautiful job of ruining himself.

If only the Teabaggers were so easy. Luckily, though, they're getting more absurd by the day. It shouldn't be too long before more people are laughing at them. The name is perfect enough: now all they need is uniforms and a secret handshake. 

The moral: just keep on laughing. Even if it doesn't help, it might keep you from crying.